All The News That’s Fit To Link…
Ever wanted to croon the line “Hello, I’m calling about your advert for the fridge freeeeezer” down the phone in the computerised style of T-Pain? It emerged this week that your dream could soon be a reality, although if you’d rather leave the AutoTune antics to the master, The Lonely Island’s ‘I’m On a Boat’ found T-Peezy in top nautical form.
Samberg and pals weren’t the only ones serving up the hip-hop comedy, however, as Rick Ross answered 50’s derogatory ’toon with his own 2-D retaliation − ah, for the days when BDP and The Juice Crew battled using zoetropes and flick-books. Ricky also dropped another dis record and addressed 50 and Dre on camera. “You look like you haven’t been eating,” he told Curtis. Well, at least Rick’s got his own house in order there… Fif returned fire, of course, but only after also threatening DJ Khaled’s mum, who’d already endured erroneous reports that her son had topped himself following a car chase with Five-Oh.
In-the-shit singer Chris Brown might yet meet a sticky end, though, if, fresh from the Grammys, a Rihanna-avenging Jigga catches up with him. Somewhere, LL Cool J’s moaning that his former boss never even gave him a plaster that time he had a paper cut.
With DMX back on antagonistic form, it fell to Kanye to spread some love by (again) tackling hip-hop’s homophobic streak, although his rallying call for straight men to reclaim the rainbow was a slap in the retina for fully-sighted people of all sexual orientations.
Finally, eager to prove just who runs this rap shit, Icon The Mic King made like Seinfeld’s old foe Duncan Meyer and challenged Joe ‘Faster Than Joel Ortiz’ Budden to a race. Expect news of a Fat Joe vs Bonecrusher shot-put showdown next week…
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