Samberg and pals weren’t the only ones serving up the hip-hop comedy, however, as Rick Ross answered 50’s derogatory ’toon with his own 2-D retaliation − ah, for the days when BDP and The Juice Crew battled using zoetropes and flick-books. Ricky also dropped another dis record and addressed 50 and Dre on camera. “You look like you haven’t been eating,” he told Curtis. Well, at least Rick’s got his own house in order there… Fif returned fire, of course, but only after also threatening DJ Khaled’s mum, who’d already endured erroneous reports that her son had topped himself following a car chase with Five-Oh.

In-the-shit singer Chris Brown might yet meet a sticky end, though, if, fresh from the Grammys, a Rihanna-avenging Jigga catches up with him. Somewhere, LL Cool J’s moaning that his former boss never even gave him a plaster that time he had a paper cut.

With DMX back on antagonistic form, it fell to Kanye to spread some love by (again) tackling hip-hop’s homophobic streak, although his rallying call for straight men to reclaim the rainbow was a slap in the retina for fully-sighted people of all sexual orientations.

Finally, eager to prove just who runs this rap shit, Icon The Mic King made like Seinfeld’s old foe Duncan Meyer and challenged Joe ‘Faster Than Joel Ortiz’ Budden to a race. Expect news of a Fat Joe vs Bonecrusher shot-put showdown next week…

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At last, an emcee showed sensitivity to the times as Cam’ron reappeared with the first recession-rap banger. We feel your struggle, Gilesy, but it might be worth taking your beanie off at job interviews; maybe even pay someone to tart up your CV a bit. By contrast, Bow Wow, outraged at Soulja Boy’s accusation that he rented his Lamborghini, flashed the paperwork from his purchase, mocked Mr Tellem’s “piece of shit” model of Lambo and agreed to race for pink slips. Both parties are now reportedly busy learning the lyrics for ‘Greased Lightning’.

If, unlike Lamborghini Moss, however, you are feeling the pinch, some cut-price garms from LL’s beleaguered clothing line should stop you shivering. Especially a polyester tracksuit – that’ll burn away nicely…

Diddy was in the firing line this week, catching heat from Doo-Wop for dissing deejays and from Mark Curry for possibly being the devil − “his body has the capability to house a wicked energy,” reasoned the former Bad Boy emcee. Still, Diddy should know that even Barack Obama isn’t universally adored, with KRS One continuing to express scepticism…

Push it to the limit! Responding to jabs thrown by Rick Ross on ‘Mafia Music’, 50 Cent dropped a dis record and supplementary  cartoon lampooning his opponent’s past vocation before wheeling  Ricky’s baby mama in front of a camera for a lavish, if rather creepy,  5^th Avenue shopping spree. Ross was unimpressed by 50’s “ho talk”, but rap’s Richard Gere won raves from Funk Flex, who lauded his “bananas facial expressions”, including “one I never seen you make before”.

Finally, Lil Wayne kept it gutter by hitting the bowling alley with Katie Couric. Props to “Miss Katie” for striking up the type of flirtatious frisson with Weezy that, try as he might, Alan Yentob just couldn’t muster with Jay-Z…

(Want to get HHC’s weekly new re-cap direct to your inbox? Just click here and we’ll sort out the rest.)

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